Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Old Souls

So it has been a really long time since I have written a post. I keep a pretty detailed blog for my class, so it takes up a lot of my writing time. A lot has changed for me since the last time I wrote. Paul is still working at my school with me, and he is teaching 4 art classes after school. We finally got our kitchen, dining room, and garage renovated. It is wonderful, and we are so happy with how it turned out. We are currently on a hunt for chairs to go with our huge dining room table. Before and after pics to come soon! After we finished our renovations, my mom passed away unexpectedly. I am still in a fog of dismay. There are good days and bad days, but in the beginning it was feelings of pure trauma. We watch people deal with death in some way, shape or form everyday, but you truly never understand until it crosses your path. It is gut-wrenching and empty. The range of emotions you can feel in one day are unsettling and unnatural. I have always felt I have an old soul, but grief ages you tremendously. I am experiencing what they call compounded grief. I lost my grandfather only a year and a half ago. Anyone who truly knows me, knows what he meant and still means to me. I am now left to watch my grandmother age and suffer through this as well. She is amazing and strong, and I fear the day I lose her too. With each new day, my boys and wonderful husband push me forward. The pain changes and morphs, but for right now it is always there....